Welcome to the Addicts Comedy Tour Blog!

What's up, readers?!?! Welcome to the Addicts Comedy Tour blog! I'm a writer named Allison Phelan & I'll be your tour guide for this bi-monthly article that lets you know what the hell just happened, what on earth is happening now & what's up ahead with your favorite alcohol and drug-free/addiction-&-recovery-humor team: Kurtis Matthews & Mark Lundholm. Sometimes, I'll also be giving you inside details and gossip from behind the scenes that you can use against them. Sometimes, I'll also be talking about myself. Speaking of myself, I actually started dating Mark just to get this gig. Smart, right?! Totally kidding. Kurtis bribed me to do it with the promise of a naked game of twister with his girlfriend, me and Mark. Kidding again. Or am I? The truth is you'll never know.

 See what happens when you're on the road with two of literally the funniest guys ever? Anyway, let's cut to the quick so you can get back to binge watching Sons of Anarchy, Pretty Little Liars or whatever other fun, sober activities you have planned for your weekend. "I'm not judging. I'm just saying." Mark & Kurtis are basically the funniest power-couple/clean and sober comedian bromance you'll ever see or talk to, and their specialty is addiction & recovery-based humor. When you add David Wilmore, their camera & tech-support guru, you've got a hilarious & usually inappropriate hybrid of the three musketeers & the three stooges. It’s always sober fun and IMHO the best of recovery comedy!

 Last week, this hybrid took Florida and an entire population of locals & recovering snowbirds by storm. What the hell just happened is that we started in West Palm Beach at The Improv. Kurtis assured everyone that he just "needs a bigger penis" & then he won't have to lose weight so he can see it, while Mark explained that "you have three options for recovery in Florida: detox, Botox, or a tee box." Next stop was Tampa, where everyone had an amazing time & went wild at Tampa Improv as Kurtis divulged: "I didn't like cocaine. Every time I did cocaine, I would be up until 4am wondering why I just spent $600 on cocaine." Mark then reminded everyone that it takes about five years clean before "your head pops out of your ass." So just remember you have that to look forward to if you're a newcomer. It's an amazing feeling.

 Up ahead in January 2016, Mark & Kurtis take their funny recovery to fan-favorite hot spots: Omaha, Des Moines & Minneapolis, where, according to Mark, "It'll be a perfect blend of freezing weather & fiery crowds," meaning apparently you loyal groupies are crazy enough for drug free fun to trek out in an actual winter to see these guys talk. What are you doing?? Stay home & drink hot chocolate! Kidding. These shows must be great because the 300-seat venues repeatedly sell out. Bring the hot chocolate! I'll have some! Anyway, I'm happy this amazing addiction-&-recovery-humor team now has a young, smart & vibrant voice. (Me. That's me.) Evidently Mark & Kurtis are too old and tired to spend all that captivating energy on stage and then also write about themselves.

Thanks for reading and we'll see you all in Omaha! Also, keep an eye out for my next blog!

Stay fierce. Love & respect. XOXO, Allison